Once You've Loved Somebody
by sailorstar0183
Summary: Songfic about the breakup, using the Dixie Chicks song by the same name.


Hey there! It's Sailor Star again! I wrote this little piece several years ago, and I figured that I might as well put it out here for you to evaluate. It's a breakup fic, so if you're sick of those, go ahead and skip ahead. Otherwise, have fun. BTW, this is my first song fic. . . reviews are more than welcome!  
  
Disclaimer: Okay, Sailor Moon isn't mine, and neither is Darien, but boy do I wish he was! Oh, yeah, and the song belongs to the Dixie Chicks. Not mine either. -_-  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Serena sat in her window, tears streaming down her face. It was late, but not too late for her to call up Rei or Ami and go to a movie or something. Perhaps that was what she should do. But she couldn't. What if she ran into *him*? It would be too painful to do that again. Mina and Lita had told her a million times that they had friends that would be great for her to go out with, but Serena didn't feel like doing that. She knew that they were just trying to help, but there was only one love in her life, and she had lost him without knowing why.  
  
She looked at herself in the mirror, and was astonished at what she saw. Her once beautiful golden hair looked almost dull and flat. Her eyes were not the same bright blue anymore. Everything about her seemed dull. Lifeless. Without him, she had no life.  
  
"Serena!" Her mother called. "Mina's on the phone!"  
  
"I've got it." She picked up the phone. "Yes?" She answered, trying not to sound as depressed as she felt.  
  
"Hey, girlfriend, you've got to come with me tonight!. . ."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I should go out tonight  
  
Get on with my life  
  
Break these chains of solitude.  
  
With a little luck and a little help  
  
I might even find myself in the arms of someone new.  
  
But once you love somebody  
  
It ain't that easy to do  
  
Once you love somebody  
  
Like I love you.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She couldn't believe she was doing this. But Mina had insisted. Mina just *had* to have someone with her when she met these two guys, or it would impossible to score a date. Serena, being too tired to argue, decided to go along with her just this once. She put her hair up in the usual style, put on a little makeup, and smiled her sweetest smile. Well, at least she didn't look dull anymore. Heck, they might even have a good time. The thought made her smile genuinely for the first time in days.  
  
Mina met Serena outside her house. "Hey, girl. This will be lots of fun. Those guys said that there's a big bash going on at my other friend's house, so that's where we'll go. That sounds like fun, doesn't it, Serena?"  
  
"Uh, yeah. That will be great, Mina." answered Serena, giving a sad, but genuine smile.  
  
A few minutes later, Serena and Mina arrived at the party. A girl named Michelle was giving it, and recognized Mina immediately. "Darling! How are you? Come on in! We're just about to start dancing, if anybody will dare." Serena walked in nervously after Mina. She saw several people she knew, and a lot that she didn't. This night might not turn out so bad after all. Suddenly, she was pulled out on the dance floor by Mina. "Come dance with me!"  
  
As Mina and Serena began to dance, other people became braver and stepped onto the dance floor. Eventually, she and Mina were separated, and Serena found herself slow-dancing with a really nice boy that reminded her of Andrew. It was wonderful. No monsters, no fighting, no Darien. . .  
  
All of a sudden, she caught sight of a familiar green blazer. This must be some cruel joke! He couldn't possibly be there. Yet there he was, and here she was, dancing with some other guy.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Look what you've gone and done  
  
Ruined everything for anyone  
  
Who tries to steal this heart away  
  
I can't get you off of my mind  
  
Tried to tell myself a million times  
  
A little time is all it takes  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
For a moment, she felt as if she had been caught cheating. But when she thought about it, she realized that she wasn't cheating. In fact, it was all his fault that she almost spent this night alone. She was suddenly very angry at her ex-boyfriend. She would show him. She excused herself from the dance, and caught Mina's eye. She gestured toward the bathroom, and Mina followed her there dutifully.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"Guess who's here?" Serena said.  
  
"Oh, no. Not Darien." Mina groaned. "Look, if you want to leave, I understand. I'll get one of the guys to take us home."  
  
"No, don't do that. I'm determined to have a great time. You go out there and dance. I'll just figure out a way to ignore him. Everything will be okay." Serena turned up her nose in an indomitable gesture.  
  
From outside the bathroom, the girls heard Michelle calling out to everyone. "Okay everybody. It's time for the immature game of the night. Shall we do strip poker, truth or dare, or spin the bottle?" Several people voiced differing opinions, but eventually the only real choice was spin the bottle. The girls sat on one side of the circle and the boys on the other. Serena wasn't nervous until she saw that Darien was still there.  
  
Finally, Darien saw her. He caught her eye, and she saw something like surprise fill them. She just hoped that she wouldn't have to kiss anyone, especially him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
But once you love somebody  
  
It ain't that easy to do  
  
Once you love somebody  
  
Like I love you.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"OK, for those of you who don't know the way I play, we put the bottle in the middle of the circle." said Michelle. "To start off, someone volunteers to spin the bottle and whoever it lands on of the opposite sex, they have to kiss. Every now and then, we'll say before a spin that there's a special task this next time. Then, the person that was kissed spins the bottle next. Does everyone understand?"  
  
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement. Suddenly Serena had this nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. This might have been a bad idea. But as the game progressed, she was pleasantly surprised. Everything went well for the first few minutes. Until the guy that Serena was dancing with earlier was made to spin the bottle, and it hit her. She stood so he could claim his kiss. The look in this guy's eyes said that he had wanted to do this all night long.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, Serena saw Darien. It was obvious that his eyes were full of pain. Serena seriously wondered why for a moment. Then, she thought of everything that he had done to her in the past few weeks. All the pain she had been going through, and was still going through, for him. He was being selfish. It was her turn to do what she wanted to. So, when the Andrew-look alike bent to kiss her, Serena gave him a mouthful. Literally. Everyone was stunned.  
  
"Well, I guess we have an adventurous girl here, boys. How about raising the stakes? Seven minutes in heaven for the next spin!" Michelle happily said.  
  
Serena cringed. She had wanted to get back at Darien, not get stuck in a closet with some boy for almost ten minutes, where she would be expected to do more than what she had just done in front of a room full of people. She had definitely made a mistake this time. But she had to finish what she started, so she took the bottle in her right hand, and gave it a spin.  
  
"Oh, no." She whispered.  
  
There, the bottle lay pointed directly at Darien. There was no other way to interpret it. And Michelle, not knowing about Darien and Serena's past, took the two numb teens to the nearest closet. "You have seven minutes. And if you're not kissing when I open that door, then there are dire consequences." She removed their watches and stuffed them into the small closet, locking the door.  
  
For a moment, Serena just turned her back to Darien. Neither of them said anything. Then, she whispered, "I don't want to be here."  
  
"Oh, so I suppose you'd rather be out there making out with blondie?" Darien asked, obviously angry.  
  
"Well, what did you expect me to do? Just give the boy a peck on the cheek? You and I are not together, remember? You made sure of that." Tears started streaming down her face, but she would never let him know that if she could help it. She was sick of being the crybaby.  
  
"Yes! It's too soon for you to be doing stuff like that! You're too young and it's just. . . too soon!" he sputtered out. He couldn't even come up with a decent excuse to be mad at her. "Why are you even here in the first place!?" He whispered hoarsely; he couldn't let the entire party hear their fight.  
  
"That's none of your business. I'm my own person. I'm not defined by you; I never was, and I never will be. Just get over it, Darien. You said we're through, and in order for that to be true, you need to just get away from me." Serena knew that her words had to be having some effect on him. Even if you stopped loving someone, like he apparently did, you apparently couldn't stop being jealous immediately. Because he certainly wasn't.  
  
"Why do you think I broke up with you? Don't you see? That's exactly what I'm trying to do! Why can't you just stay away from me?" Darien sounded strained and exasperated.  
  
"I AM trying!" With that outburst, Serena turned toward him. In the dim light of the closet, she saw the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. "I can't stand the sight of you!" Right now, she wanted nothing better than to hurt him the way that he had hurt her.  
  
Darien was stunned. "Serena, I didn't know that you hated me. I mean, I wanted you to, I guess," He couldn't help but think of how stupid he sounded, "but not really. I didn't know. . . I mean, I thought that maybe we could. . . oh I just don't know what I was thinking. . ." He held his head in his hands.  
  
Serena winced. "I can't stand to see you. But it's not because I hate you, Darien. Because I. . ." she breathed in his scent. God, it was still intoxicating. "Because I love you. It hurts to look at you and not be able to touch you. So I try to stay as far away as I possibly can. But here we are. Stuck together in such a small space. Darien, it's fate. Why can't you just let it happen?"  
  
"Because I need to find myself. . ." Darien let his head hang. He knew that he had to stay away from her. There were all the warnings in his dreams. But she was right. Fate always had a way of bringing them together. He sighed. His breath on her neck made Serena crazy, but she couldn't lose control. Not now. "And I can't tell you exactly why. . . I don't want to burden you with that. . ."  
  
Serena suddenly felt an understanding wash over her. There was something that Darien just *couldn't* tell her for some reason, and it seemed to be killing him as much as it killed her. She put her arms around his shoulders, placing him in that all-too-familiar comforting embrace, running her fingers through his hair gently. "You can tell me, Darien. You know you can tell me anything, but I know you won't, and I can handle that. Just know this: I will always love you. And only you." She started to cry. "Only you. . ."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
I gave you everything that I had to give  
  
I don't know if I could go that far again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Darien looked up. Even in the dim light coming from the crack in the door, he could see the love shining in her eyes. And suddenly, he couldn't control himself anymore. He put one arm around her to hold her tightly, then lifted his hand to cup her beautiful face. He ran his thumb over her lips, wondering what they would taste like again. The thought caused him to lose all control.  
  
He took her lips and pressed them against his, gently at first. Then his kisses became deeper. He kissed her long and hard. Passionately, he let their tongues dance. Serena arched against him, letting herself go in his embrace. She couldn't control herself either, not when they were together. She had wanted him for two millennia, and nothing could keep them apart. Kissing him was like breathing to her. She would never survive without his kisses.  
  
"Serena. . . I still love you. . ." Darien whispered.  
  
"You do?" She barely breathed the phrase, looking in his eyes, taking in more of his kisses. . . how much longer could she stay like this? *Forever. . .* her mind answered.  
  
Without warning, Michelle opened the door to the closet. "AHA!" Serena and Darien stopped kissing reluctantly. "Come on, you two. Time for another couple to dare the closet." Serena could see another embarrassed girl and boy trying to act ready to take their turn.  
  
Serena stepped from the closet, and immediately felt something change between her and Darien. The intimate moment they had just experienced was completely over, and he wasn't coming back. Not for a long time. That had been a farewell to her. Not a reunion.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
'Cause once you love somebody  
  
It ain't that easy to do  
  
Once you've loved somebody  
  
Like I love you.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Darien composed himself, and as he walked out of the closet, his air changed. No longer was he the man Serena loved, but the sophisticated, unreachable college student who let no one in. He was alone.  
  
The rest of the party, Serena caught glimpses of Darien, but he would never look her in the eye. Finally, when he was about to leave, she followed him outside, grabbing his arm as he walked to his car.  
  
"Are you just going to leave like that? After what happened in there?" She asked softly.  
  
"I have to. You already know that." Darien put his coat on.  
  
"No, don't leave. I know that there must be something that you're not revealing to me. Tell me, Darien. Please." She wouldn't allow the tears to flow. If only she knew how her tears affected him. . .  
  
"Goodbye Serena. This time, let's hope it's forever. For your sake and mine." Darien wouldn't even look at her.  
  
Serena, not knowing what she was doing, grabbed him around the neck and kissed him hard on the lips. "You can't forget. You won't forget. I'm going to haunt your dreams, and your thoughts, and you will never be rid of me, Darien Shields. We are part of each other; we have been for centuries. So it will never be a true goodbye; it will never truly be forever."  
  
"It has to be." Darien pulled away from her, jumped into his car, and sped down the street, leaving Serena standing on the side of the road, alone. He watched her in his rearview mirror, and then, in frustration, tore it off, crying all the while.  
  
Serena watched numbly as he left. It was like the first time. No, it was worse. She fell on her knees, letting the tears go, finally. "DARIEN!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Oh, once you love somebody  
  
It ain't that easy to do  
  
Once you've loved somebody  
  
Like I loved you.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Later that night, Mina took her shaken friend home. "I'm so sorry Serena. I should have never pressured you to go there."  
  
"Hmm?. . . oh, no, Mina. I had a great time. Except the whole Darien thing. I guess maybe I *should* start looking for someone else. . ." Serena was numb all over. She couldn't remember getting up, or getting into a car, or even getting out and going to her own front step. Slowly, she climbed the stairs to her room, and looked out the window. There, she found herself staring out of the window, remembering the words he had whispered to her in that closet. He had said that he loved her. . .  
  
But how could he love her? After the way he treated her? Tears stained the window as Serena leaned against, watching as the soft rain began to fall.  
  
"Darien. . . why don't you really love me?. . . . ."  
  
Out in the rain, watching the window, a tuxedo-clad man perched in the trees, whispering softly, "I will always love you, Serena. Always." Not bothering to wipe his tear, he silently leapt across the city line through the drizzling of the rain.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
PHEW -_-v  
  
I know. It was sad, and not my usual happy ending, but I thought I'd stay true to the general gist of the season. I'm so sorry. My next one will be longer, and better, and happier. I hope you liked it, anyway. Remember: I cannot survive without reviews!!!  
  
;-p 


End file.
